Marital Problem?

So, if you ask just about anybody what is the number one cause of divorce, or less harsh, marital stress, the answer is almost always money. And that's pretty accurate. Money is a huge cause of stress, even to single folks. When you put two people together and make them share their money, or better yet, share the money made by only one of them, it can be a huge issue.

What would be number 2 on the list? What's another huge issue that most couples face?

It's got to be supper, right? I mean, isn't it normal that the question, "What are we having for supper?" sparks an argument at least once a week? Yeah, I think I've heard that supper is right there behind money in the poll. I think I read it somewhere. Probably Reader's Digest. They know everything. ;)

**I apparently need to add that the above paragraph was totally meant to be sarcastic and comical. I don't actually think that supper is the number two cause of marital stress or divorce. I thought that was fairly obvious, but my mom and Josh both questioned it. So, I feel it necessary to tell you that IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. I need to learn to write in a way that more clearly expresses my feelings.**

Josh and I can't seem to have a conversation about supper without it turning into a heated discussion. For example, the conversation that we had just about an hour ago went like this:

Josh: "What are we having for supper tonight?"

Me: "Barbeque pork chops, fried squash and lima beans."

Josh: (long pause - never good) "How about we save that for another day when it's nice and sunny, and tonight since it's rainy how about chili or spaghetti or something."

I don't remember exactly how the rest of the actual conversation went, but I wound up getting upset. Only because EVERY SINGLE TIME I plan something for dinner it either gets the boot and replaced by something else, or Josh changes everything about it so that it's no longer recognizable as my original dish. Of course, it's always better than my original dish, but that's not the point.

I am so very thankful that I have a husband that can cook. Very well. But sometimes that's the problem. It makes me feel so inadequate as a cook that I don't get excited about cooking anything. Because I know he's going to tell me what I could have done differently to make it better. Which is so helpful, and he's not trying to make me feel bad when he does that. He truly is trying to give me constructive criticism. But sometimes it just hurts my feelings... especially a few certain days of the month...

So our conversation earlier - first of all, since when did oven baked barbeque pork chops, fried squash, and lima beans translate into a fun, sunny day meal? I consider it a nice, southern, comfort food meal. Great for a rainy evening. Yes, chili and spaghetti are even better for a rainy day, but I got the pork chops on sale, labeled "Reduced for Quick Sale." They need to be cooked ASAP. Also, we have a bunch of squash from our garden that can't just sit around on our counter waiting for just the right day - it does go bad.

I grew up eating barbeque pork chops, salmon patties, chicken a la king, chicken pot pie, all the southern favorites with you name the vegetable. Very simple but good, home cooked meals. Daddy came home every evening not knowing what was for supper. Whatever Mama chose to prepare during the day and then cook that evening was what we all ate. No questions. No "discussions." Certainly not heated ones.

So that's what I'm used to, and maybe that's part of why it bugs me so badly. I wish I could just make something and have Josh come home and say, "Ooh, what's cooking? It smells really good." Especially since most of the time he does wind up enjoying whatever it is that I've chosen to cook, even if it's not some fancy shmancy thing that he would have concocted. It's just the thought of such a simple meal that he can't handle.

Ugh. We're working on it though, because we both enjoy food so much (hmm... could be related to our recent weight gain), and I hate that we can't even enjoy talking about it with each other.

Sorry for the rant, but, hey - it's life. Mine and Josh's life, anyway.

On a positive note, I just painted my nails for him. So don't worry, we do love each other. :)