Meet Cannon

After having had a c-section two weeks ago, I am finally beginning to feel like "me" again. And since I am nursing the baby I eat all the time, which means I have a surprising amount of energy for someone who sleeps about 4 hours a night.

So, having energy means posting about the arrival of Mr. Cannon Thomas Gibson!

This first picture was made the morning of the 6th. It's a horrible picture of us, but I wanted to post it because it's the last picture of the family of three. I was headed out to take Bennett to Montessori and then we were heading to the hospital at noon to check in for my 2pm c-section.


If you're thinking that Bennett looks sad, well, yes he does. And unfortunately, there is a reason for that - other than the fact that he's about to have to share all the attention with a new baby brother.

He woke up that morning crying. He does that sometimes. He either wakes up very chipper and ready to go, or he wakes up whining and crying. He'll come into our bedroom and get in the bed with us and if he's been crying, he usually calms down once he's close to us. He didn't this particular morning. He kept crying and saying "ouch." Over and over and over, he'd say "ouch," but he didn't say what hurt. We finally noticed him tugging at his belly.

So we got up, went downstairs and fixed him breakfast. He didn't want to eat. All he wanted to do was lay around. He calmed down and quit saying "ouch," but still wasn't quite himself. I figured he was just sensing that something was going on and wanted attention. The later it got in my pregnancy, the more clingy he became towards me. Even though he didn't fully understand that a baby was on its way, he knew something was up.

I considered keeping him out of school that day, but knew that was a bad idea. He needed to keep his routine so that this transition wasn't harder than it needed to be. Plus, we had stuff we needed to do before going to the hospital. So we went on to Montessori. The morning drop offs had gotten harder and harder - part of his increasing separation anxiety towards me as the pregnancy progressed. But this morning was especially tough. I had to talk to his teacher for a minute, just telling her that he hadn't eaten much at breakfast and had been complaining of his stomach hurting. I told her I didn't think it was anything, but just to be aware. The whole time I talked to her, he had his little arm wrapped around my leg and his head resting on it. So when I went to leave, oh no. He freaked. His teacher picked him up and started walking into the room, and he screamed and reached for me over her shoulder. The last image I had of him that morning was of his desperate little face and arms begging for me not to go. It absolutely broke my heart. I cried as soon as I got in the car.

Josh's parents were going to pick him up at 3:00, and I told them that as long as I wasn't too out of it after the surgery, I wanted Bennett to be there that evening. I wanted to see him as soon as I could, but I didn't want him to see me all weird and woozy. Either way, I knew I was going to miss him, so I took my favorite picture of him with me to the hospital.

So on to the hospital we went. Here I am in triage, waiting. Like I said, we checked in at noon and the c-section was at 2:00. The two hours in this room were interesting. I have never had a full blown panic attack, but this has to be the closest I've ever gotten. I was pretty freaked.


First of all, I knew that I was about to be taken to have a needle stuck in my back and then my stomach cut open. Second, the baby was moving (a LOT), and just the thought of him being in my belly one moment and then being taken out the next was overwhelming to me. It was weird. And then we got a call from Montessori. Bennett had thrown up at lunch. They said he had been lethargic all day and then threw up. All I could think about was that desperate, crying face as I left him at school. I felt so awful. Not only was I leaving him to go have another baby, but I was leaving him feeling so sick. If I had known that he truly was sick, there's no way I would have left him there. Mama went to get him, but when she got there he was already asleep. They don't live far from the school, so she just left him there to nap and Steve and Lynn would get him at 3:00.

So all of that on my mind did nothing for my nerves. And the more and more those nurses bussled around and prepared me for the surgery, the more nervous I got. They gave Josh his little blue scrubs to put on, put a hat on me, did this, did that...

At one point it was just me and Josh in the room. He knew I was nervous, but I expressed to him just how nervous I was. I didn't really understand the way I was feeling, because I thought I was totally okay with this. I had already had one c-section, and it was really no big deal. But that time I had labored for over 20 hours, was doped up on medication, and was thinking about nothing but the fact that my left hip was being ripped form my body each time I had a contraction (the epidural did not work on the left side). So, I was a little preoccupied. This time, however, I was fully aware of what was going on and I had time to get nervous.

After talking to Josh about my anxiety about the surgery, he came over and stood by the bed, next to me. He started singing Bob Marley's 'Redemption Song' very quietly as he rubbed my back. I dropped my head forward and closed my eyes. I can't tell you how much this comforted me and made me feel loved. I'm sure he didn't know it would affect me like it did, but I'll never forget it. It was exactly what I needed.

Once we got into the operating room, I was good. Go figure. I mean, this is where you would expect someone to freak. That cold, bright room with all the stainless steel and machinery everywhere. They make your husband wait outside until you are fully prepped, so you're in there alone. They sit you up on the table and give you a nice, big stinger in the back that burns as it goes in, and then lie you down and tack up a big blue sheet in front of your face so you can't see the rest of your body. There are nurses and doctors moving around, talking medical lingo that you can't understand, and they start prepping your body for surgery. You can't feel anything because of the aforementioned stinger, but you can feel them pushing on your body and wiping ointments on you. It seems all of that might make a person nervous, but it was then that I was calm and ready for this procedure to get underway.

And underway it got! Josh was in the room with me and they were cuttin' me open! It was pretty neat to listen to the nurses talk about seeing him and "ALL THAT HAIR!!!" They were also talking about how big his head was. In fact, they almost had to make a larger incision in order to get him out. They did wind up having to get a vacuum to help pull his head out. It turns out that he had his little arm stuck up in there with his head, making it harder to get him out in one easy move. Josh videoed the whole thing (it was at an angle that wasn't offensive, but it's still not something I care to show here - and I'm thinking you're okay not seeing it anyway).

Once they did get him out, I could tell; even though I couldn't feel anything because of the spinal block, I could feel the lack of baby inside of me. There was pressure, and then there was this big release. And of course, the crying. How amazing is that sound? To hear your child for the first time. It's kind of a sad, scared little cry, but it's so amazing and wonderful.

After I got to meet my little man, Josh and the nurses took off to recovery with him while I got put back together. Then I was wheeled up to join them in recovery.

They actually had to take him up to the NICU for a while because of this grunting thing he was doing. I'm still not clear on what exactly was going on, but apparently all babies do this little grunting thing when they're born, but it fades pretty quickly. His wasn't fading, so they were concerned about his lungs.

We wound up being without him for much longer than I had expected. He was born at 2:37pm, and it was well into the night before he joined us in our room (I think it was actually about 1:00am). My mom came that evening and was able to visit him up in the NICU, but we told everyone else not to even worry about coming that first evening because he wasn't with us yet, and the NICU visiting hours were over pretty early. And with Bennett being sick, he couldn't have come anyway.

Here's the poor little guy sick at home:

Anytime he doesn't feel well, he wants to "doh night night, douch" (go night night on the couch). He wound up throwing up a couple more times at home that day, so Steve and Lynn kept him out of Montessori the next day, and I knew I wouldn't get to see him again that day. So sad.

So Steve and Lynn took turns coming up to the hospital that next day. Lynn came first and met her 5th (wow) grandchild, then Steve took his turn.

My parents and brothers came later that evening, but I failed to get any pictures of them. I'm really disappointed that I didn't, but oh well. Greg did take some pictures of Cannon, but I don't think he got any of him with our family. I was really glad Jeff was able to stay in town long enough to meet his new nephew. He went back to Florida the next day.

The next day, Steve and Lynn thought Bennett was back to normal and well enough to come visit. They brought him around lunch time on Saturday.

We heard them out in the hall before they came through the door. The door opened, and I saw Bennett's face immediately. I have never been so happy to see him. I don't know how to describe how he looked to me - he looked so cute, so innocent, so fresh. I was so, so happy to see his little face. He came in asking for "Mamett." He calls himself "Memett" now, and apparently Cannon is "Mamett."

Josh was introducing Bennett to Cannon, and at first Bennett was a little unsure. That lasted about 2 seconds, though, before Bennett exclaimed, "BIDA-WOAH, BAY-BAY!!!" (Dinosaur, baby!)

Steve and Lynn had gotten him this dinosaur one day while they were here. It was so cute to see him so excited about it and wanting to share it with the baby.

Bennett was checking out Cannon with Gigi. She laid him down and he began to cry. Bennett immediately said, "Thop, bay-bay. Shhh!!!" ...as you can see below.

Pop and Gigi brought snacks for Bennett to munch on...

he got to put on a bracelet that matched the ones Mama, Daddy and the baby were wearing...

and we went for walks in the hallway that both entertained Bennett and helped me recover more quickly. I would post a cute picture of me and Bennett holding hands while walking down the hallway, but since Josh and I have already joked that I needed a 'wide load' sign on my butt, I won't. :)

And even though this isn't the most flattering of me either, I love this picture of the new family of four. I'm a little outnumbered here - all these boys in my life!

Bennett took one last peek at his baby brother before they headed back home.

It was such a nice visit. I was so, so happy that he was feeling better and able to come see us! And he did sooo well. I was a little worried that he would be jealous of the baby or upset that he was having to leave and Josh and I were staying. Nope! He was great. Thank you Steve and Lynn for that!

So those first few days, all I was allowed to eat was Jello, chicken or beef broth, and Italian ice. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Mmm... Not really. I mean, it actually was pretty good, but I wanted to order about 8 of each of them at every meal. I was so hungry! But they have to make sure that your insides are working correctly before they can let you stuff a bunch of food in there. So I had to pass gas before they would let me eat solids.

Now, wait a minute. How in the world do you expect me to pass gas if all I'm eating is liquid? I need some roughage! So I convinced my doctor to let me have a solid meal. And here it is, in all its glory:

Isn't it beautiful? In case you can't tell, that's steamed cabbage next to the mashed potatoes. Mmm... That's what I'm talking about! And boy, did that get my insides moving - literally. This is so gross, but I could see my insides moving around under the skin on my belly. It looked and felt like there was still a baby inside of me, kicking. Nope, just my intestines. Nice. And I didn't even pass gas until the next morning. So that was fun, feeling all that going on in there for several hours.

But I did wake up feeling a bit better, and I passed the gas test. They discharged me and we were headed home on Mother's Day, finally!

We came home to a mailbox dressed in blue! Yay!

As soon as we got home, Bennett was asking to "Hold bay-bay, Mama." That's all he's wanted to do ever since Cannon got home. He absolutely loves him.

He is really sweet with him, giving him kisses, rubbing his head, and helping me pat him on the back when he needs to burp. And he's still sharing his bido-woah.

What a good big brother!

And I have to say that I'm thrilled that across the state, Josh's sister's mailbox is also dressed in blue. She and her husband welcomed their third child into the world on Saturday, May 1st. Which just so happens to be Josh's mom's birthday. What a great present for her! :)

It was so great to go through pregnancy with Lauren, and I can't wait to introduce these two little boys and watch them grow up together.

Welcome, little Everett...

... meet Cannon!

Sorry for the Delay

I just don't have the energy to post anything. I don't even have the brain power to figure out what the next sentence should be (I just sat here staring at the screen for a good 3 minutes before writing that).

I started uploading some pictures, but stopped. I tried to upload a quick, cute video of Bennett meeting his baby brother for the first time, but it wouldn't work for some reason. I was just going to post that to let you know I'm still here and I do want to share with you our newest addition and adventure, but I'm just pooped!

I talked to my sister-in-law, Lauren, today and she felt the same way. She just had her baby boy May 1st, so she and I have been going through some of the same physical and emotional stress lately. I told her I was thinking about blogging about our troubles with Bennett's bedtime routine and she said, 'You're doing better than me! I haven't felt like blogging at all lately.' Well, she went and got sneaky on me and posted this nice, detailed, wonderful birth story and I have still posted nothing.

I'll get to it, I promise. Maybe tomorrow I'll get tired of walking around on these water balloons (also known as my feet - yes, they are extremely swollen after giving birth) and sit down at the computer for a good while. I'm not making any promises, though.

Move Over, Battlestar

Aww.... isn't that sad?

But it's the harsh reality of what's about to happen to Mr. BSG. Room has to be made for Mr. CTG.

So, then, what in the world is going to be the new name for this blog?

Hmm.... think, think, think.