You Can't Say I Don't Try

... but you can say I should've used a bib.

My Stubborn Second Son

So how many of you have heard me talking about the fact that Cannon won't eat?  Well, if you haven't, let me just go ahead and tell you that Cannon refuses to eat solid food.  I started trying with him right at 6 months.  And actually, the first three times or so he did great.  He ate rice cereal mixed with breast milk and pureed bananas.  Then on the fourth day, forget about it. 

Ever since then, no way, Jose.  He's 10 months old and he still will not eat.  Anything.  I've tried it all.  All different foods, textures, feeding methods, time of day, you name it.  All he wants is to be nursed.  I've tried having other people feed him since it could be a - hey, you have breast milk right there, why are you trying to get me to eat this crap? - sort of thing.  But that doesn't work either.

It's so incredibly frustrating.  He gets mad, I get mad, there's food everywhere, and then I have to nurse him.  So a lot of times I just feel like not even trying because I pretty much know that I'm going to have to nurse him anyway, so why even bother wasting that time?  But I know, I know... one of these days he's going to just decide to eat, so I have to keep at it.

Anyway, I got a nice little video today of what we go through every day.  Tell me this wouldn't drive you crazy.  And also, tell me if you know of some marvelous secret that I don't know about!  :)

Enough to go Around

I have gone back and forth about whether or not to write about this. I got an e-mail today that made my mind up for me.

As you probably already know, I breast fed Bennett for 14 months and I am currently breast feeding Cannon.

With Bennett, I had some problems with nursing. I frequently developed clogged ducts that were very painful. It never affected his nourishment or my ability to produce, but it was very painful for me. I was producing and producing and producing and it every once in a while it would all back up in me, causing severe discomfort. The problem was, Bennett was never completely emptying me.

Can I just stop here for a second and say - HUH?!? You mean this baby wasn't eating every last drop of milk that I had to offer?!?

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Believe it or not.

I remember calling my lactation consultant after about 3 months of nursing and asking her how to begin supplementing with formula. I had had it. I couldn't do it anymore. I had gotten to the point of crying when I would nurse him because it was so painful.

Well, she gave me the instructions on how to supplement, but encouraged me to keep trying. I also have a good friend that is a lactation consultant who offered wonderful and much needed advice and support during this time.

It was like all I needed was to know that I had the option to do something else, because after that phone call, it seemed to all get better. I swear, so many of our problems are at least partly psychological. I truly believe that stress is a huge factor in our physical health.

I did continue to get clogs here and there, but it was never anything that I couldn't handle.

When I had Cannon, I knew I wanted to nurse him too. Another good friend of mine had just stopped nursing her little girls when Cannon was born. She is so incredibly generous, and she offered to let me use her electric pump while I was nursing with the hope that it would alleviate some of the problems I had the first time.

I started nursing him, and almost immediately started getting incredibly engorged. I was already producing more than he was eating. So I called my lactation consultant and she told me to pump after the first feeding of every day, between the hours of 6am and 10am because that's when you produce the most milk. So that's what I did. And I began to accumulate a nice supply of breast milk in the freezer.

At the same time this was going on, Josh's sister Lauren was having not her first, not her second, but her third heart-breaking struggle with breastfeeding. Lauren is a wonderful person and an amazing mother and wife, but for some reason or another, she has not been able to breast feed her children although she wants to more than anyone has ever wanted anything.

When Mac and Rachael were born and she was going through this, there was little I could do other than offer my love and support. When Everett was born only days before Cannon, I knew I would have an opportunity to help if she was again unable to nurse. She tried for longer with Everett, and I kept my thoughts and desires to help to myself until I knew that she had given it all she had and would turn to formula.

We spent a good amount of time with Lauren and her family right after the two little ones were born, so Lauren and I would nurse together frequently. I always felt a little guilty for being able to nurse Cannon with no problem and then watch her struggle with a supplemental feeding system because Everett wasn't gaining enough weight and it was becoming obvious that, again, it wasn't working. And not only would I nurse with no problem, but I would then turn around and pump out even more milk, just so I wouldn't get all clogged up.

We were at the lake one day, early this summer, when I finally decided to present my offer. I had spoken with Josh and told him that I wanted to offer to pump and give my extra milk to Everett. We both knew it would probably be a delicate topic, since, not only is it not a common thing to do, but I also didn't want to make her feel like I was boasting about how much milk I could produce. Of course she would know that I would never be like that, but I was still nervous about bringing it up.

But I gathered some courage, and while everyone else had gone on a boat ride and the two of us were in the cabin nursing our babies (she was only comfort nursing at this point), I said to her,
"I know this might be a little weird, and if you are not interested, please don't hesitate to say no, but I want to offer my extra breast milk to you for Everett."

I don't even think I got all of that out of my mouth before she said, "I'D LOVE IT." She didn't even bat an eye. She's the kind of person that can make you feel so comfortable - you'll feel a little uneasy about a situation that you're in, but then she can relate and tell you about a similar situation that she encountered and all of a sudden you feel like you aren't the only one and it's totally fine. Does that even make sense? The point is, after talking to her about it, it seemed so silly to have even been nervous about it.

So, after that, all my pumping was for Mr. E, and I was so happy to be doing it. She wrote a blog about it and most of the comments she got said something to the effect of 'Oh, all that pumping - what a sacrifice' or 'Anyone that has ever pumped knows what a gift that is.' I don't look at it that way. It's just a part of my daily routine, and if it's to help someone else (especially a family member), I'm more than happy to do it.

So for the last several months, I have been nursing and pumping and sending coolers of breast milk to Augusta. And I haven't had the first clog. And don't you worry, Cannon isn't missing out:


Well, I have now decided to become a breast milk donor. I have applied and been qualified and hope to be able to donate breast milk even after Mr. Cannon and his lil' cuz Everett have moved on to solids.

The milk bank that I've joined forces with uses the milk to help premature and critically ill infants. They sent me an e-mail today advertising that November is Prematurity Awareness Month and Prolacta Bioscsience (their affiliate) is donating $5 for every new donor application received in the month of November. I know that I don't have a huge audience here, and that very few (if any) of you are nursing moms, but I felt like I should at least put the word out there if I really care about the cause I'm donating to.

So if you or anyone you know of is nursing or thinking of nursing, mention the possibility of donating breast milk to help those that are unable or the infants in need of the 'liquid gold.' Information on finding a milk bank can be found here: www.milkbanking.net or www.helpinghandsbank.com.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

I'm losing the food battle. Actually, yesterday was an improvement, but in order for this title to work, I need to tell you about the losing battle I've been fighting for about a month now.

Bennett is eating table food now, and has been for a few months. When he first started, he was a champ. He would eat just about anything I put in front of him. We did go through a bit of a rough spot where he only liked to eat food off the floor, but that's for another day. Anyway, he was my perfect little eater and I was so proud. He would eat carrots, broccoli florets and stems, whole grain bread, fruit, beans, spinach, collards, anything.

Well, not for long. I don't know what happened, but just all of a sudden he didn't want anything to do with any type of food I tried to give him. I tried everything. He wouldn't even eat tater tots. All kids love tater tots! After many attempts to get him to eat the table food, I finally decided that I'd have to go back to the pureed stuff. Well, not only did he not want the table food, he didn't even want to be spoon fed. He'd eat maybe a couple bites and then realize, "Wait, what am I doing? I'm supposed to be refusing this stuff." And he would eat no more. All he wanted was to eat graham crackers all day long. Incredibly frustrating.

I know they say not to give up when your child goes through a phase like this, but do you know how exhausting it is to fix a breakfast, lunch and dinner for your child every day and have him not eat it? Not only fix one, but fix a second just to try and get him to eat something, and then have that pushed back at you too. Very, very tiring. And wasteful. I even tried taking him to "the trough," as Daddy calls it. The two of us took him to Golden Corral to see if we could get anything in him. They have it all. If he didn't eat something from there, he wasn't going to eat anything. Well, he did okay, but it was still pretty much a losing battle.

I think part of this came with the sickness he has been struggling with since we got back from Winston-Salem on new year's eve. It's just a little cold, but it has been dragging on forever now. So, I'm sure part of the food refusal is due to that, but it started well before he got sick.

You're probably asking what the winning battle is. Well, it is this. Since he has been sick, his nose has been stopped up. So, when he nurses (yes, I am still nursing him. My goal was one year. I have been very nervous about weaning him, therefore I have been rather lazy about starting the process, but just read on), he can't breath. He can take a couple swallows, but then has to pull off and gasp for air. I can imagine how frustrating that is for him. He finally gets fed up and just pulls off. Rather than sit there and try to make him nurse, I just go on and put him in the bed. To my surprise, that usually suits him just fine. He's not nursing for the nourishment anymore, it's just a comfort thing now, so it's not like he's going down hungry.

So, I am pleased to say that I am totally winning the weaning battle! What an incredible relief. Because if I was having to deal with him fighting me on that one while also fighting me in the food battle, I'd probably not have any hair left.

Teach a man to fish...

What I want to write about today is the fact that number 1, I love making Bennett’s baby food. I knew that I was going to make his food even before he was born. Not only because I want to make sure that he is getting the most nutritious and chemical/preservative free stuff he can, but also because it is so much cheaper! And, of course, it’s better for the environment. Sure, if I was buying it I would most certainly be recycling the little glass or plastic jars, but this way I’m not even using up those resources.

I love to go to the store and buy a bunch of sweet potatoes, bananas, pears, apples, green beans, you name it, and bring it home and start the process. Most of them get steamed. I’ve found that’s the most convenient way for me to cook his food, and it allows the food to keep nearly all of its vitamins and minerals (whereas when you boil them, most of the minerals seep out into the water). Once they’re steamed to my liking (when a fork is easily inserted), into the blender they go. I used to use the food processor. All the books and websites that I have referenced have talked about how much better the blender is for pureeing baby food than the food processor. I resisted for a long time, thinking it couldn’t be that much different. For some reason, the blender just seems like more of a hassle than the food processor. And it’s funny, because they are stored in the same type cabinet (a low, tiny cabinet – one on each side of our stove), and the blender is much narrower and lighter than the food processor, making it easier to get in and out of the cabinet. But still, for some reason I dreaded getting out the blender, but I’d get the food processor out all day long. Until I had to use the blender one day because the food processor was in the (running) dishwasher. Oh my gosh; what a difference! Talk about pureed food! The only thing I have had trouble getting pureed well enough is snap peas in the pod. Those things are tough! Josh and I tried to have them for dinner one night and they were pretty rubbery and gross. So when I tried to puree some for Bennett, they would not puree. They stayed pretty chunky, no matter how long I let them run in the blender. Also, it said they were stringed (strung? destringed?), but there were strings all in them. Not good. So, I threw them out. Maybe there is some other way you’re supposed to cook and/or puree those things to make them work, I don’t know.

Anyway, once the food is pureed I put some in a container for Bennett to eat over the next few days, and what is left I spoon into an ice cube tray, wrap it in plastic wrap and put it in the freezer. The next day, pop the cubes out of the tray and put them in a labeled Ziploc bag and back into the freezer. I just love this little process! I wish I could make money making baby food for other people. I would love my job. Maybe I like it so much because I really enjoy cooking, but I don’t really cook dinner that much because Josh is so picky and is such a great chef himself, that I never make anything as well as he can or completely to his liking. Bennett is not picky (not to mention he can’t have spices or seasonings yet anyway). I just have to cook the food (I can even way overcook it and it’s okay), blend it up and spoon it out. Done. He loves it. I haven’t found anything he doesn’t like yet, but I have found his favorites. He loves pears and squash. And green beans, too. But his favorite combo is pears and squash with a little plain yogurt and some tahini (sesame seed butter) mixed in. He eats that stuff up!

Okay, for my number 2. Had you forgotten that there was a second part to this? Number 2, as much as I love going to the store to buy fresh fruits and vegetables for Bennett’s food, I love to go to Daddy’s garden or Mama and Daddy’s side yard or Grandmother and Granddaddy’s backyard even more! Daddy has a garden at the house on Strickland Street where he grows squash, okra, tomatoes, and this year he has a little bit of watermelon. The only thing Bennett can eat yet is squash, so that’s what I get for him. There is so much of it that there is too much for all of us to be able to eat before it goes bad, so I use up all the extra making his baby food. I love free food! Mama and Daddy have (or had) blueberry bushes growing along their driveway at their house. They had a bunch this year and gave me a big bag to freeze. The website I use says 8 months for introducing blueberries to infants, but the book says wait at least a year, if not longer. So I haven’t started the blueberries yet. I did make a good blueberry pie yesterday, though. Not for Bennett. :) And today, Bennett and I went with Mama and Daddy to Alabama to see Grandmother and Granddaddy. They have a couple of pear trees in their backyard, and Daddy and I picked a couple buckets full. We could have gotten more if we could have reached them. We didn’t have a tall enough ladder. I’m not sure I would have wanted more, because you’re only supposed to freeze the baby food for 2 months or so. I’m sure it’d be fine if it was in there a bit longer, but I don’t know how quickly we can go through those pears – he has to eat all his other fruit too. We can’t just go on a pear binge!

Anyway, it just gives me so much satisfaction to be able to go out into the warm summer air of the country and pick pears off a tree my dad planted years ago. The Earth provides us with food. I think people seriously forget that all it takes is planting a seed and you can grow what you need to eat! And that seed is a one time investment (well, with some things) and you have food for life if you take care of it. Yeah, there are some things that we’re not able to grow because of our climate, but for the most part, you can grow what you need. And while I so enjoyed being on my grandparents’ land today picking that fruit, I want to be able to say that I went out into my backyard and picked what I needed for Bennett that day. I got Daddy’s squash. Mama and Daddy’s blueberries. Grandmother and Granddaddy’s pears. If I love that we can grow our own food, why am I not growing my own food? Well, I am growing tomatoes and I am loving it, and we have fig trees in the backyard (which reminds me, I need to look up figs for baby food – can he eat those?), and we had a pretty good pepper garden last year, but I didn’t have time to do it this year, with Bennett being so young and needy. But next year, I fully intend to have a garden. A full fledged garden with tomatoes, squash, okra, carrots, cabbage, corn, green beans, peppers, herbs, whatever I can. Maybe I’m a little overly optimistic, but I would love to have a big ol’ southern garden.